I have been pretty happy and very preppy this week. I'm feeling damn good. I don't know why. I guess I'm just on a natural high. It feels pretty good to be single. I LOVE SINGLE LIFE!!!! That was random. I am finally starting to realize that maybe I do mean something to people. Maybe I'm not as bad as I think I am. I have gained a little more self-confidence, which is good. I am also writing alot more which is always good. I have finally realized that although physically I am not the best looking person, I still have alot to offer. I am soooooooo tired. So I'm off. BTW, I loved that song Purple. I have heard it before. Thank you for what you wrote. That meant alot.

It's official. I am chicken shit. The guy I've been crushing on is graduating this up coming Monday. I hate me and my fear of boys. It's ludicrous. I am so terrified of rejection from the opposite sex. It's either because I think I'm ugly and fat (which I am) or that I'm not good enough and I'm unlovable. I can't really go out with someone my own age because they are really immature. At least in my school. Why did I have to be born into a generation that is heavily influenced by the media?   People have told me hundreds of times: " Taryn, you can't worry about them. You have to worry about you.

You are talented young woman with an amazing personality and big heart." It's hard to believe. Negativity about me is what has been drilled into my head. It's been going on for such a long time that I believe every negative thing they say about me. And the stupid fucks wonder why I'm suicidal. I mean....HELLO????? Ugh. Hopefully I won't feel so depressed next year.Oh well, I'm done ranting.

I've been on a graphic-making roll. You can see my art on my DeviantArt account: http://tarinw.deviantart.com/

It's scary. You try and try to get over someone but you can't. Even though you know they are bad for you. That's the situation I'm in right now. He's like a drug. And there is no rehab for it. And it hurts when you feel like you're the reason he won't come to see your family. I think the perfect song for me right now would be "I Hate Everything About You" by Three Days Grace.

On to much happier thoughts. Today I downloaded Scary Movie 3. It wasn't that good in my opinion. They only part I really liked was Simon Rex's character. Right now I'm watching the first Scary Movie. Jon Abrahams is so hot.

Too bad I have school tomorrow. Good thing I only have about two more weeks of school left.

So, anyway, I'm off.

                                             on

                                                  Taryn

I tell ya... I don't know why people think my school is great. There are nothing but a bunch stuck-up, pot-smokin, look-i'm-pregnant whores. I'll be happy when I change schools. I failed this semester of choir because I didn't show up for the choral concert. I heard it wasn't that good anyway. The only class I really like World History. We have had some very good discussions on the war. Anywho, I'm gonna work on my website and get it up. Plus I have to do a report on Cleopatra.

                                                                                               Until  Later,

                                                                                                         Taryn